We all have people in our lives who energize us. Spending time with them leaves us feeling better, more hopeful, more positive, filled with joy. We might leave them with new ideas to try, thoughts to ponder. Somehow, their conversation and presence encourage and pump us up. They emanate a karma that clicks with us -- whether it be a calming, loving, sure-footed karma or an enthusiastic, joyful, energized karma.
The friends who do this for me cause me to believe in myself and my dreams. They usually support me in my work or my writing. They care about me. They make me laugh and feel good. Our communication flows back and forth. It is not a monologue with one person talking at the other and the other just listening. The conversation usually teaches me something or gets me thinking in a way I might never have before. They are positive about life and that feeling oozes from them and washes me in it, too. I have a few such friendships where I describe the person as an "angel sent from God;" that's how much good their friendship does for me.
Conversely, we also know people whose presence sucks the life out of us. Spending time with them takes effort and when we leave them, we feel depleted. Oftentimes, these are "shoulds" in our life; otherwise, why would we continue to spend time with them? They're people we don't feel we can walk away from. They are perpetually negative, regardless of the subject you discuss. They can find the worst in everything and everyone. They may be braggarts who cause us to feel inferior; they may be gossips who leave us feeling guilty for the conversation we've just had.
Conversation between us and these types of people may not be matched. Their interests and topics may hold absolutely no interest for us and vice versa. These can be people whose tone of voice is irritating; their karma is spastic, negative, angry, and when we leave their presence, we are antsy, fidgety, or simply without energy.
As an introvert, I must be alone after spending time with these types of folks in order to refill the well and restore myself to a sense of balance. It's like eating when you're hungry or sleeping when you're tired. I must be alone, oftentimes quietly, back with myself, my own thoughts, my own head in order to get myself back to the center and able to be with people again.
This all makes me wonder what kind of friend I am being to others. Do people feel energized after being with me or depleted? I can be negative; life's hard for all of us. But consciously, I don't want to be a "should" in someone's life or force someone to spend time with me when I am bringing them down and they leave my presence feeling worse than when we met up.
There are givers and takers in our world. Are you a giver, making people's lives better for having known you? Or are you a taker, giving nothing of value to others, but thinking only of yourself?
What kind of friend are you? Makes you think, doesn't it?
(photo: Great Diamond Island, Maine)
