Halloween

A neighbor of mine, who has no children of his own, has described our street as "Mayberry." Watching the neighborhood's kids grow up from his vantage point made it appear they had what neighborhoods used to have -- lots of outdoor play with friends from the street, driveway chalk, jumping rope, tents in yards, baseball, basketball, bikes, lemonade stands. My street isn't unique to this - I see it replicated in neighborhoods all over Portland so for all we hear that's bad in our world, we shouldn't forget that "Mayberry" does still exist in some ways.

For me, nothing stands out like "Mayberry" than what our Halloween's used to be. I will never forget the joy our kids or we adults had when our kids were small, and we all made a party of Halloween every year regardless of whether it was a week night or weekend. It was as big as Christmas.

Our neighborhood attaches to lots of others so there are hundreds of kids. We had years of handing out 120 or more tiny candy bars; it was a constant parade of kids in costume aged one to fifteen. There was running from front porch to front porch, laughter, tripping on costumes, dropping of plastic pumpkins filled with brightly colored candy onto dewy or frozen grass depending on the year. There was "TRICK OR TREAT" yelled in tiny voices and "thank you" when prompted. There was awe by trick-o-treaters at my husband's intricate pumpkin carvings.

Some years, Frankenstein hung from our 2nd floor, the fog machine blew smoke at just the right moment when a child passed, or huge plastic pumpkins on the front lawn. Our neighbors, the Sneider's, are responsible for the majority of the festive atmosphere - their house decorating was fabulous and included a giant light display on their garage with a 'Happy Halloween' logo. A bat flew around the top of their porch making an eery, spooky sound. They made hot spiked cider for the adults and had not just candy bars, but made up bags of candy!

They also played pranks on us. When our son was only 4 or 5, they put steak gristle from dinner into tin foil as his "treat." When we helped go through his candy that year, there was a moment we wondered who would do such an awful trick...but very quickly knew it was them!

I am so grateful to my neighbors for their enthusiastic embracing of this holiday. I'm hopeful my boys will always remember. I know I will.

Happy Halloween!

Fifty

At first earlier in the year, a couple friends hit the big marker quietly and randomly. But with this past weekend's party for one of my best friends, my group of friends has begun sliding down the slippery slope in earnest. Two more friends are hitting fifty in November and three in December. Hold on, folks, we're FRIENDS FACING FIFTY in a big way - we're all in!

My girlfriend, the class clown, the one so much fun to be around, says fifty's not sitting well. She can't quite get her head around it.

On her cake, we wrote "Fit, Fabulous & 50." And she is. She's a do-er; she exercises regularly and has the endurance of a mule - she can ride a bike forever! She is independent and capable of anything. She has a wonderful family and girlfriends who have been at her side since she was a pre-teen. She has worked at her job for over 25 years, no small feat -- again the endurance of a mule! Not everyone is so blessed as they hit the half-century marker, but she's earned it.

And her gift to herself for turning 50 is a trip to France! To France! How cool is that? We couldn't have, or wouldn't have, done that at thirty or thirty-five. But at fifty, if we want to do it, man, we're actually doing it! That in itself is worth the marker.

I'm hearing friends say why hitting fifty is bothering us; it's a lot of things. Mortality seems to be the biggie - we're more than half way through our lives. Maybe we look too old; maybe we feel it. Maybe we're sad the kids are moving out and don't want change or maybe just the opposite - we're anxious for them to go because we're tired and ready for change. Maybe we've not done what we hoped to by fifty; maybe we fear the good years are past. At fifty, forty is sounding OK...when at forty, that was hard, too, but fifty seems to be a whole new ballpark.

Pooey! We've got to let all this go! We have absolutely no control over this and we should be proud of all we've done in our first fifty years because we've sure done a lot! I'm going to try to hold my head up and take the lead of "living the I's" I read in Patti Digh's book, Life is a Verb, for how I should carry myself from here. Being thankful for every day, doing what we want to do, and finding joy in the small things are the way for us to live.

Patti said, "It turned out there were six main ingredients for the fuller, richer life, all starting with the letter I, just as all change starts with I, the individual. For each of the six practices that emerged, simple actions stood out:
Intensity: Say yes
Inclusion: Be generous
Integrity: Speak up
Intimacy: Love more
Intuition: Trust yourself
Intention: Slow down"

*Source: Digh, Patti. Life is a Verb. Guilford, Connecticut: skirt! The Globe Pequot Press, 2008. Print. P. 8
www.lifeisaverb.net
www.pattidigh.com

Photo: Not Mexico, but Rangeley, Maine...finding joy wherever!