I Am (the documentary)

Tom Shadyac is a Hollywood director of such films as Liar, Liar and The Nutty Professor. His films made him successful, and he began to acquire the lifestyle and all the trappings of a Beverly Hills celebrity. He lived in a 17,000 square foot home, flew in private jets, had fancy cars and extravagant parties. But...he had an ever present feeling of emptiness and something being not quite right.

In 2007, he had a near death biking accident which is what triggered his complete change in direction. That experience brought him clarity and purpose, he says.

Tom is the kind of man I admire and whose company I would enjoy - creative, kind, thoughtful, athletic, and a leader in his compassion and sharing of ideas, a man unafraid of asking "why?" and "why not?"

He began to let go of all the trappings. He moved to a modest mobile home; he began using his bike as a means of transportation...and he says he's never been happier. This is what prompted him to create his documentary I Am which I recommend. Initially, I heard it would only be shown in select U.S. cities, Philadelphia being the closest to me in Maine, but then, one night on my drive home from work, I happened to turn my head as I waited for the light at Temple and Middle Streets, something I rarely do, and I saw it was playing at Nickelodeon. My son was willing to join me. The documentary was well done and thought provoking.

He began creating his documentary by asking two questions: (1) What's wrong with our world? (2) What can we do about it?

Tom shows the science behind his message and writers and professionals declaring that Darwin's message was actually misquoted. Although Darwin did describe "survival of the fittest" in a small part of his work, what he talked more about was how the nature of all animals is primarily democracy and cooperation, not dominance and competition. Lions do not kill all gazelles, but only those they need to eat. A redwood doesn't take all the nutrients from the soil; it takes only what it needs to survive and flourish. Men are not, as is sometimes stated, inherently violent beings. More soldiers die from suicide than in war.

The Lion King was the first Disney movie we brought our older son to. I had no idea a children's movie would touch me so deeply. The circle of life, taking only what we need, and everything on earth being interconnected was a message more fitting for adults than kids.

After my son and I saw I Am, he, who has sometimes thought he may be a socialist said to me, "I don't like to say I'm part of any group. I'm not a socialist. If anything, I think I'm a collectivist." He sees that we're all interconnected; we get more from empowering, educating, uplifting people than dominating, humiliating, controlling and killing.

Some of the authors and books Tom's documentary highlights are:
Lynne McTaggart The Field and The Intention Experiment
Howard Zinn People's History of the U.S.
Noam Chomsky Profit over People, Failed States, Hopes and Prospects
Thom Hartman Screwed. The Undeclared War on the Middle Class, The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight.

If more of us think of one another, a sort of "collectivism-type thinking," and taking baby steps with small acts of kindness toward others, we can impact and shift behavior.

Tom's title of his documentary comes from: I Am (the problem); I Am (the solution).

For more information and a preview of the documentary, see www.iamthedoc.com.


(Photo taken from www.oprah.com)

Memorial Day

Memorial Day kicks off summer in Maine. We go from winter to summer now, it seems. What happened to spring-sixty-five-to-seventy-degree days with afternoon showers, green buds popping on trees, daffodils and tulips lasting more than a few days? Now it goes straight from high forties to eighty-five! We'll take it no matter. I promise I'm not complaining!

Summer to me means.....

friends & get togethers

Scarborough Beach and walking to Prouts Neck

icy ocean water and seaweed wrapping around my ankles

the smell of salt ocean air

sunshine sparkling on waves

charcoal cook outs at Two Lights State Park

clam cakes and fries at the Lobster Shack once per season

decks & barbecues

the smell of coconut oil

blue hydrangeas in a glass vase on my table

swimming, kayaking, tennis, walking, running (slowly)

camps on lake

outdoor fireplaces and lounging chairs

potato chips

watermelon & lots and lots of berries -- strawberries, blueberries, raspberries

...............Summer to me means....a-h-h-h-h

Photo: Echo Lake, Mount Desert Island

Thank You

My travel memoir, Away at a Camp in Maine, came out last July. I was amazed and humbled from the support and positive reinforcement I received from friends and family - it went beyond anything I had imagined.

Marketing to bookstores, gift shops, and kids' summer camps in Maine as a parting keepsake for campers (since Chapter 17 is about just such a camp on Crescent Lake) has gone harder than I expected. There is less interest, despite my sending hundreds of requests and emails.

The shelf life of a book, unless you're Charlotte's Web (!), is really only about a year or so. This spring, I wanted to give my little gift book one final push before I called myself "done" with it. What I found is that it was absolutely right to take a chance and a leap of faith and publish it in the beginning and it was absolutely right to give it a final push. For all of these things, I am so grateful. The kindness of others has touched me deeply and validated something that has been important to me all my life. From the bottom of my heart.....thank you.

• my book hit the shelves of L. L. Bean just in time for Memorial Day tourists - the Pulitzer in my world!
• July 15, I will be doing a reading/speaking/slide-show about the book at the Portland Public Library in their "local author" Brown Bag lunch series
• June issue of Down East magazine displays an ad for my book
• On a recent trip to Florida, I saw my book as a "coffee table book" in my relatives' homes.
• I was called out of the blue on a rainy Saturday a few weeks ago by a woman who bought my book at The Good Life Market in Raymond. She worked with my father-in-law many years ago and tracked me down. She loved my cover, the title, and the book itself. She told me she grew up on Watchic Lake and had "the leeches, the drowning boy," everything I described. Wow. She made my day.

Photo: my book on the shelves of L. L. Bean

Vacation Day

A couple weeks ago was school vacation and I took a day off. I have female colleagues with small children who struggle to find sitters for each day of vacation so they won't have to take time off although they have plenty of vacation time to use (some goes unused each year) and certainly the pressing need for a small break. I have taken some days off during every school vacation of the last fifteen years since my boys have been in school....and I've loved it. I no longer need to, but I want to.

It's been good for the boys....it's been good for me. Generally, school vacations come just at the time when I'm so in need and due for a little time off myself -- perfectly scheduled throughout the year. Why not? I do something similar by taking one vacation day each Tuesday through the summers. It provides change and breaks up the ho-hum flow of our everyday routine. My being home to make lunches, cookies, a good dinner, allow friends in, or give rides to the movies or the Mall are appreciated by my family. They don't have to do same-old, same-old every day. We can do something fun together or we can do nothing - that's what vacation is supposed to be.

On my day off, instead of jumping up to unload the dishwasher, put in a load of laundry, pull on the running sneakers and pound the pavement, I grabbed my Oprah Magazine and got back into bed....by myself. Can't remember the last morning I stayed in bed alone. It was fabulous! It was quiet and peaceful and big! (I mean the bed was big when I was in it by myself, my husband long gone to work.) My son was still asleep; I was cozy and relaxed and doing something different than my daily work routine.

Ideas began to come to me in almost everything I read in the magazine. Truly, I got the inspiration for about 20 blog ideas. I've been a little dry on ideas lately but that morning, they were just free flowing almost like a waterfall, gushing out of me actually, and giving me such pleasure in having them and thinking more about them. I laughed out loud. It is only when we pause, when we change our routine and do nothing, that everything else comes into focus. Stopping allows whatever is deep inside us to stir. Keeping perpetually busy, surrounded by conversation and noise, squelches our ability to hear our inner voice.

That morning, I was a calmer, saner, more enlightened person than when I went to bed the night before. That feeling lingered and everything in my life, even when I went back to work, benefitted from it. A vacation day, quiet time alone.....what a beautiful concept!

Photo: Stroudwater

Take Charge

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need
to ask permission of other people or society at large. When
you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life."
-- Albert F. Geoffrey



Oprah's new network, OWN, presents a show called "Masters" in which people Oprah admires -- such as Sidney Poitier, Maya Angelou, Jay Z, Condoleeza Rice -- share their thoughts and their life lessons. They are "teaching," giving insights from the journey they've walked thus far. Last weekend, I was fortunate enough to watch Oprah herself as the guest speaker. Her words were inspirational and thought provoking.

Oprah (and I) believe there is no such thing as luck. We believe every person makes his own luck with preparation and then noticing and accepting opportunities when they come along. As I listened, I thought it was easier for Oprah to give this advice now that she has truly found success and she can look back with 20/20 vision. In hindsight, once successful, I imagine, it's not quite as difficult to look backward at the turning points or opportunities taken that changed a life's trajectory and moved it to the place they have become. I think it's harder to identify those decisions made that moved us ahead when we don't know what "ahead" is for us.

Many people don't seem to ever find out what their passion is. They don't hear a compelling message or calling. They don't feel it in their bones. Some don't even desire to know it. It's these people who may certainly miss those opportunities when they do present, having not been in tune with their direction or even their desires.

Another type of person is me. I am one who thought I did know what I was meant to do from when I was a teenager. But, yet, I'm not doing (full time) what I think I'm meant for. Have I missed opportunities or turned my back when they presented? Is what I think I'm meant to do not really it? Have I been mistaken all these years?

Asking for permission or doing what we think we're supposed to and thereby giving someone else veto power, is closing our doors and not hearing the whispers pointing us in the right direction for us. The best thing any person can do is to take charge of his own life. That is how we'd get the best from every person. One thing about aging and beginning to "get it," is perhaps taking back our veto power and making our own decisions which are always the right ones.


*Source: Digh, Patti. Life is a Verb. Guilford, Connecticut: skirt! The Globe Pequot Press, 2008. Print. P. 35.
www.lifeisaverb.net
www.pattidigh.com

Aging

"I traveled through my history
From certainty to mystery"*

Songwriting is poetry; songwriters, poets. Listening to music is a way we are exposed to poetry even if we don't read or listen to that genre per se. We're attracted to the rhythm of songs, the instruments used, the beat, but we're also captivated by the words and some speak to us depending on what's going on in our lives. With my favorite songs, I know they're my favorites because they touched me at the precise time I needed them. When I hear them at later times, they have the power to bring me right back to where I was when I first heard and enjoyed them.

The lines from Carrie Newcomer's song describe me, describe us perhaps. I used to think I was different from everyone else; I don't any more. I see that every person goes through the same phases and cycles, and we're more alike than different.

I love aging; truly. OK, the lines on my face are just beginning to get to me, but not that much. I've earned every line. I am outside every day, in Maine, so what should I expect? I'm out in the rain, the wind, the sun, and the snow. Being outdoors is more important to me than lines on my face. And it's OK with me if when you look at me you recognize a woman who has spent a lifetime outdoors. My sister calls my Mom a Shar-Pei; perhaps that's where I'm headed due to genetics!

I like who I am and what I know now more than what I was and knew when I was twenty. At twenty, I was filled with certainty. The world was black & white. I charted my course and set out steadfastly, without a worry or concern, so certain that what I gave would yield precisely what I wanted. What aging does is soften us (even our faces). The certainty becomes a little uncertain and more uncertain as time goes on. We start out sure of ourselves; we end, sure of very little. The black & whites all become gray. Aging is turning gray....which is not all bad.



*Source: "Leaves Don't Drop (They Just Let Go)" from Geography of Light 2008 Rounder Records, Song written by Carrie Newcomer © Carrie Newcomer Music BMI Bug Publishing & Michael Mains BMI

What if everyone did yoga...

As I left restorative yoga class Sunday night, calm and relaxed, both physically and mentally in a very zen sort of place, I paused on Broadway before being able to get in my car door due to the fast traffic passing by and splashing me with muddy, snowy puddles. The radio in my car was so out of place - I just didn't want to hear the noise and chaos. I didn't need it.

As I watched all the cars driving over the Million Dollar Bridge and through the Old Port, I wondered what it would be like if everyone had just left yoga class. What if every person was in the same zen kind of space at the same time? Would there be less aggression? Would there be more kindness and a slowing down of drivers and walkers on the streets? While anger and violent images and games increase a person's adrenaline and make him more likely to strike or lash out verbally or physically, yoga could have the opposite effect.

What a dream to have a kinder, gentler world with hearts turned toward each other rather than away. Seeing our fellow men as worthy of our kindness, our civility, and our lack of judgment would create a very different world for us, wouldn't it? Can the answer be as simple as yoga for everyone? Namaste, my friend.

(Painting by Liz Brown)