This is an excerpt from
Chapter 8 “Challenges of Being a Working Mom”
from my upcoming book titled Mothers Fulfilled which will
be out late 2012.
“Pictures, journal
entries, home movies are treasures and I still watch those often…but they will
never replace the real face-to-face observing, remembering how soft their skin
to my touch, their eyes dripping with tears, their baby smells, their wet
butterfly kisses on my mouth, their exploration and wonder of the simplest
things. It is watching children for
extended periods of time that remind us what joy is in case we have forgotten.
I wish, while lying with
Ben, I rubbed his back more. From when
he was a toddler, he would always lift the back of his pajama top to have his
back rubbed. It soothed him and gave him
great pleasure. I did rub it a lot, but
never enough. At 17, standing over six
feet tall with 34-inch pant legs, I sometimes just look at this man and try to
remember his tiny frame, his bony back, my fingertips feather light touching
all corners of it. I so clearly remember
the times when he asked me to rub his back, when he asked me to lay down beside
him until he fell asleep, when he asked me to read just a little bit more.
I did not draw enough
with chalk in the driveway, play Star Wars with their figures, paint with my
fingers, build with blocks. I did all of
it, but my point is these things are so short lived, I wish I had done more.”
Photos: the mothers and kids in my life
