"Maybe if I look at the paths I've worn, over and over again, I'll see that purpose show itself, the way cornfields create patterns I see only when I'm flying over them. Perhaps it takes some distance to see that path. At the very least, it requires a different vantage point."
Many people change their tastes as they age. They seek a new look for themselves or their surroundings; they change jobs; they yearn to travel and see new places; they leap into the unknown and try new challenges. But there are certain traits, skills, and attractions we have that seem to be inherent - built into our DNA. These have been present in us our entire lives. Although we may change something on the surface, the underlying trait or way of being is still present - that is the inherent quality that is the base from which all else flows and which is unique to us.
I am an introvert. I never learned of that word or what it meant until I was an adult. However, as I look back, I see the qualities and needs of introversion were present my entire life and I took certain paths to meet the needs I had not really knowing why I was doing them. For instance, I walked a lot, alone, when I was young. I studied alone, made decisions alone, shopped alone, exercised alone. I lived most happily in my own head. I wasn't a dorm-girl or go-away-to-overnight camp type. I was the kid who walked around the periphery alone to explore quietly. I could certainly participate and have fun with groups of kids; I just see now that those times had to be flanked by times alone to build the stamina to be able to function that way.
I grew up in a small home that was too crowded for my type....so I walked, far and long, in all sorts of weather since it was a daily need. I have always craved and enjoyed wide open spaces. I have always been a reader. Reading allowed me to be quiet and alone.
I am also a writer and have been as far back as I remember. I love the exercise and process of working things out in my head and then on paper. I love words. I analyze, instruct, question and come to my own conclusions through writing. I turned my back on my writing for half my life, but again, what happens with these inherent traits is that they don't leave you; they keep poking back out in various ways in your life seeing if you'll accept them and go with your inherent flow at some point. Paths I continued to take kept bringing me to the same center.
For you, it might be an inherent drive to help people, teach, paint, create or play music, or explore new things. If you think back on things you've done that have brought you joy or peace or felt so right to you, if you look at those paths and seek to see some similarity to them, you might discover your passion. You might discover your inherent ways of being. Just like wearing my hair to "go with" my cowlick, no longer trying to fight against it, is the right thing to do....so, too, is going with, not fighting, your true nature.
To help you find your purpose, look back from a high vantage point, and ask: What are my worn paths?
Photo: the White Mountains, NH
*Source: Digh, Patti. Life is a Verb. Guilford, Connecticut: skirt! The Globe Pequot Press, 2008. Print. P. 173
www.lifeisaverb.net
www.pattidigh.com
