My friends’ daughter, Emily, is seven. She’s a petite, dainty, precocious, dramatic, funny girl. She is a sprite – a tiny little fairy with a big smile, beautiful blue eyes, and light brown hair. She loves attention and loves to entertain. She is happy. She is loved and knows it; she is very comfortable in her little body. She’s well behaved, kind, considerate, and giving. We see her only a few times each year, usually at barbecues or short visits. She always wants to stay with the grown-ups and sit on her Dad’s lap; she’s all ears, very interested in all we are saying and offering quips when she deems them appropriate to our conversation.
Frank saw her Dad, John, on the golf course late fall after we had gone to their house the prior weekend for dinner. John said Emily came down the next morning after our dinner and said, “Guess who I am?” She smiled and laughed, and at the end of the laugh, her voice lilted up in a unique way, kind of staccato. “I’m Kim,” she said laughing.
When Frank told me, I began to laugh….and lilted up in a unique way at the end. That she would notice that, that she would care, that she would re-enact it the next day made me wonder. I didn’t know I did that; I had never noticed. I know as I’ve gotten older, my laughing has become more hardy, more joyous, more physical in my body. And Emily noticed it. It had to have been noticeable enough that she was even able to mimic it. How cute, I thought. I felt honored she’d care.
Then, I told my son about what Emily did. Before I described the laugh (lilted up…unique), he described it to me and said exactly that! He told me how my laugh intensified at the end and then he did it on the phone. Now, I really wondered about all this. My immediate reaction was not embarrassment or concern that my laugh was a negative....a joke. It actually made me feel very good to be known. These two people were describing a habit of mine that they noticed, that they thought was a little endearing maybe, and something I didn’t know about myself. The warmth it made me feel to be known showed me how everyone wants just that – to be noticed, to be validated…..to be known.
Photo: Oat Nuts Park Trail, Portland
