(This article was also posted on MariaShriver.com Valentines Day)
A little
background -- in 2014, I’ll be married 28 years to a man I dated for 11 years
prior. We met at the age of 13; we are
turning 52 this year.
He is
still my confidante and best friend. No
one will love me more deeply than he has – not even my own mother.
I don’t
know why the universe presented this man for me, first time out of the
gate. I don’t know where we found the
fortitude to understand what “relationship” meant so young, but we both
intuitively knew. We knew the work it
took, every single day – the patience, the kindness, the loyalty. And we’ve both worked at it for thirty-nine
years.
Now the
story -- I love the country band Little Big Town.
On an
early morning run in January, 18 degrees (balmy in Maine after a winter of
negative temperatures), I listened to their new song, Sober, oh, maybe twelve times in a row. The entire two miles. I tend to do that when something gets in my
head.
While listening
and running on that gray winter morning, I laughed, smiled, sang out loud
(badly) and thrashed my arms.
This is
what came to mind as I listened:
When we
got married, Frank wanted our wedding dance to be This is The End by the Doors.
You can imagine my smirking face at that one. I didn’t think so.
Second
choice – Wild Horses by The Rolling
Stones. The romantic in me loved that he
suggested that. Mick sings “wild horses couldn't drag me away….” Wow.
Is that what he was thinking?
But nada. I couldn’t, at the tender age of 24, have The
Rolling Stones sing our wedding song. It
just didn’t fit, I thought.
And yet, for
28 years, I’ve remembered that, and you know what….it does fit. It should have been our song….because it was
what HE was thinking. And that he was
thinking that was just beautiful.
Silly me.
Now,
Little Big Town in 2014 sings this song, Sober,
that I run to and, for me, this is our wedding song at our 28 year anniversary. All pretenses have fallen away and now it’s
just real. Our love is not a dream or a
hope; it’s our reality.
“Sober”
I want to walk that line
a little crooked
And live my life a
little on the rocks
Laugh at every time I
fell
Not afraid to make a
fool of myself
And keep on dancing when
the music stops
Cause I love being in
love
It’s the best kind of
drug
Drunk on the high
leaning on your shoulder
Sweet like wine as it
gets older
When I die, I don’t want
to go sober
Oh, when I die, I don’t
want to go sober
You’re like drinking
from a never ending bottle
When I think it’s gone,
there’s always a little more left
Lay back with you, and
close my eyes
Let the big old world
just spin on by
And saying your name
with my last breath
I love being in love
It’s the best kind of
drug
Drunk on the high
leaning on your shoulder
Sweet like wine as it
gets older
When I die, I don’t want
to go sober
Oh, when I die, I don’t
want to go sober*
What I
know for sure at this age is what John Lennon told us so many years ago – all
you need is love. Love has opened the
space that allowed me to become the person I’m meant to be.
Loving
someone isn’t necessarily easy; it isn’t always romantic….but I’d rather be
drunk on love than anything else because it fills me up. I can let down my defenses, be silly, sloppy,
sad. I can laugh, stumble, and know
someone is there to pick me up if I need it.
If I can
die inebriated with the passion we’ve shared, the commitment, the effort, the
ups & downs weathered as a team – what more could I want?
Love may
not be rational or on the straight and narrow….but that’s the beauty of
it. Drunk on love, as messy as it may
get, is how I want to live.
At 52, when
I hear Little Big Town sing it, I get it.
*Little
Big Town. "Sober." By Liz Rose, Hillary Lindsey, Lori McKenna.
Tornado. Capital Records Nashville, 2012. CD.
